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Before Trump was Commander in Chief, I would wake up every morning the same way: lonely, unemployed and wondering "where my country gone?" as I drank cold, day-old coffee out of a used potato chip bag - hard times. Now living in Trump's America, I wake up every morning drinking straight rocket fuel out of my MAGA mug and sit on my balcony that over looks my estate, listening to eagles screech a sweet harmony of freedom as my smokin' hot wife tones her hard body. None of this would be possible without The Don in office and these dope AF coffee mugs.