ONLY COMMIES SEND SPAM... AND WE AREN'T COMMIES

334 reviews
"This shirt was everything it said it was. It's pure America. Not only is the quality well and it fit good. It also gives a feeling of true American Bad Assery when you wear it. It can be described as flying on an American Bald Eagle as it shoots fucking...
285 reviews
Because you're from a country of champions, and everyone should know it. Don't make us 3-peat!
168 reviews
"You know how in the movies when someone unsheathes a sword you hear the "shwing" sound it makes? Putting this tank top on, you hear the battle cry of a bald eagle taking down a tea-drinking tyrant. Merica."
174 reviews
Much like diabetes, communism is a disease of the heart. Keep your heart pure by saying the Pledge of Allegiance each and every day. Keep the commies away by saying it as loud and as obnoxiously as possible, preferably while holding a Budweiser with an American flag draped over your...
108 reviews
Teddy Roosevelt? More like, Teddy Swolesevelt! Before Tom Selleck came on the scene, this buff teddy bear was rocking the most celebrated 'stache in the land and flexing on business trusts. Getting nasty on a regimen of gymnastics and weight-lifting, this Rough Rider's physique was rugged AF. Here's to the...
83 reviews
"Since buying this shirt: I have been invited to sing national anthems at baseball games. People have stopped treading on me. Women address me as Mr. Theodore Abraham Washington, the LXIX before throwing themselves at my feet (which generally hover above the ground). I can drink 16 oz of Budweiser...
45 reviews
This shirt is for the silent majority--those patriotic Americans that don't constantly brag about climbing mountains nor running marathons. Because waving the flag is the only cardio you need!
97 reviews
There are 2 types of countries in the world: those who use the metric system and those who have landed on the moon!
51 reviews
I'm not drunk, I'm American. This is how we celebrate Independence Day in the U.S. of A! Drinkin' beer and kicking @ss!
62 reviews
The history books may not give George Washington props for it, but the first prez was swole AF. Factor in that whole cherry tree incident, and this founding father was the OG of the Woodsman Workout too.

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ONLY COMMIES SEND SPAM... AND WE AREN'T COMMIES

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