I bought a pair for my 4th of July party, thinking it would be a fun gag shorts. Little did I know. I pulled it out of the box and immediately sank to my knees and wept tears of pure joy, and by "pure joy" I mean "pure Jack Daniel's". I strapped it on and my max bench press increased by a 100lbs. I wiped the whiskey from my face, looked in the mirror, and in my reflection I saw him behind me.


George Washington. Looking stern and powerful. He nodded once, an affirmation. I knew what I had to do.

I flung myself from the bathroom window and this shorts literally turned me into a bald eagle, I flew over Iraq and pooped tomahawk missiles on ISIS positions, then I flew back home and turned into a 1967 Pontiac GTO and drove all night until I arrived at Pussytown."

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I bought a pair for my 4th of July party, thinking it would be a fun gag shorts. Little did I know. I pulled it out of the box and immediately sank to my knees and wept tears of pure joy, and by "pure joy" I mean "pure Jack Daniel's". I strapped it on and my max bench press increased by a 100lbs. I wiped the whiskey from my face, looked in the mirror, and in my reflection I saw him behind me.


George Washington. Looking stern and powerful. He nodded once, an affirmation. I knew what I had to do.

I flung myself from the bathroom window and this shorts literally turned me into a bald eagle, I flew over Iraq and pooped tomahawk missiles on ISIS positions, then I flew back home and turned into a 1967 Pontiac GTO and drove all night until I arrived at Pussytown."

  • Liner brief
Customer Reviews
5.0 Based on 472 Reviews
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TR
04/16/2021
Tyler R.
United States United States
My wedding vegetables approve....

Outstanding quality. Super well made and even softer than a new born bald Eagle. I can hear Chesty Puller singing the Marine Corps hymn when I put them. My wife can barely contain herself when she sees this massive amount of bulging freedom when I get into bed. Well done gentlemen. Keep up the good work.

RF
01/26/2021
Randall F.
United States United States

Fantastic. Amazing. Truly feel like America.

CG
01/24/2021
Corey G.
United States United States
10 a f*ckin TEN! I still got wood!

These are some patriotic nut-huggers. Fit perfec to let old glory flop in the breeze.

A American AF - AAF Nation Customer
JS
12/03/2020
Jamie S.
United States United States
Feels like Freedom

Few things feel like freedom during this era of government overreach. Enter all-American silkies. Smooth, comfortable, and feels like wearing nothing (or at least not too much). Rest your haunches in these bad-boys and you're certain to have a better workout, better freetime, or better couch day - choose your own adventure.

BV
11/20/2020
Bill V.
United States United States
**** yeah

**** yeah Merica

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