ONLY COMMIES SEND SPAM... AND WE AREN'T COMMIES

Four matches and seven rounds ago Honest Abe put the finishing blow on sleevery. Now you can too with Abe the Champ!
American steel and sex appeal! The original Teflon Ron set the hippies straight and stood up to commies far and wide.
No mortal could convince Twitter to change their character limit to 280... Until Teflon Don came along.
Buy the Canvas and get the Shirt for 50% off with code: FREEDOM1776 They defended America against all enemies, foreign and domestic. They're the quiet professionals everyone's heard about.
Check out this tank top featuring a gung ho, bitch ass, bastard, bad boy, bat outta hell Teddy Roosevelt. From what I hear, this is not an artist’s interpretation, but an actual painting, created from three eyewitness accounts who were there. This is a close-up shot of a much bigger...
A true-to-life depiction of the day George Washington crossed the Delaware. This shirt includes the stuff history books forgot -- bald eagles with freakin' laser beams for eyes.
They say Ben Franklin didn't rest while he tried to prove lightning and electricity were related. What he was actually doing was battling Zeus in the name of America. Zeus was upset at our newfound freedom; if people couldn't control other people then it was only a matter of time...
In a space mission gone awry, our hero, Thomas Jefferson, finds himself confined by speaking gorillas. He escapes his cell only to be chased down by two of the prison guards, both angry to not have been born as Americans. Cornered by the beasts, Jefferson pulls out his secret weapon,...
AMERICAN AF ON INSTAGRAM

ONLY COMMIES SEND SPAM... AND WE AREN'T COMMIES

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