• EVERY DAY IS INDEPENDENCE DAY WHEN YOU’RE AMERICAN AF!

ONLY COMMIES SEND SPAM... AND WE AREN'T COMMIES

All lives have equal value. Unless you're a stinkin' commie or terrorist. But you get the point. Merica.
Teddy Roosevelt? More like, Teddy Swolesevelt! Before Tom Selleck came on the scene, this buff teddy bear was rocking the most celebrated 'stache in the land and flexing on business trusts. Getting nasty on a regimen of gymnastics and weight-lifting, this Rough Rider's physique was rugged AF. Here's to the...
Because you're from a country of champions, and everyone should know it. Don't make us 3-peat!
Because I was inverted. Keeping up foreign relations!  
 If you’re truck gets 9 miles to the gallon, if you have a 6-pack in the fridge and a deer in the freezer, if you know how to make moonshine, if you ever tried to catch a catfish with your bare hands, or if you just like to shoot guns,...
The history books may not give George Washington props for it, but the first prez was swole AF. Factor in that whole cherry tree incident, and this founding father was the OG of the Woodsman Workout too.
Do your muscles scream assault weapons?  PROS:* Quality-made: it fits just like it should, and although I'm not certain, I'm pretty sure that I'm now bullet-proof. * The artwork is mesmerizing. When I walk into a room, everyone's gaze is drawn to my bosom and I'm not even a chick!*I've...
Merica is about freedom. This shirt screams Freedom like an eagle soaring over purple mountain majesties. Don't forget about the tank top version of this. The guys and gals who pulled the tank shirt from the bosom of Mt. Rushmore went a step up and decided that they'd make this...
"This shirt is not for Prius owners, martini drinkers, or fancy city-dweller folk. This tank was made for the individuals who drive lifted trucks, crush a Budweiser cans upon their foreheads without flinching, and for those who bleed red, bruise blue, and piss diesel fuel. Be prepared for the shot...
"Before I ordered this shirt, I benched 225. Now, I can lift the souls of millions of oppressed peoples across the globe, bringing the almighty American might of the Bald Eagle to every foreign man, woman, and child. Makes me want to sling an M-60 across my back and liberate...
"Straight out of the box this shirt transformed me so be weary:Be aware that you will instantly grow a beard that rivals Dan bilzerian and Dos Equis' most interesting man--my phone would not stop ringing from countless celebrities of the likes of Jennifer Aniston and Daenerys Targaryen from the game...
All lives have equal value. Unless you're a stinkin' commie or terrorist. But you get the point. Merica.
All kidding aside France. The US will always stand behind our allies, no matter what the situation. "Paris Peace" will be more than just a symbol, it will some day be a reality.
"When I heard the UPS man at the door, I knew my Danger Zone shirt had arrived. Unfortunately, the delivery man was an ISIS insurgent sent to thwart the stalwart patriotism I hold for my country like that of Hacksaw Jim Duggan. A hellfire missile fired from a predator swiftly...
Will Ferrell is America. America is Will Ferrell.
"Due to the pure testosterone this shirt gives off coupled with my beard I cannot wear this shirt in public or women will fight to the death for the chance to mate with me. So I just wear it around the house when im falling trees or bulldozing something as...
Enjoy America and all it has to offer. It's majestic mountains, beautiful ocean shores, and vast open plains. A diverse culture living as one, with freedoms and liberties like no other place on earth. Not to mention, it's strict copyright laws. A place where a business can create a logo...
  The English language is beautiful, isn’t it? Filled with innumerable descriptors, if there’s a feeling you wish to express, you can quickly make it happen. That said, certain words are often seen as being too vulgar for everyday conversation—amongst them, the “c-word” is by far the most powerful. So,...
"The very first time I wore this shirt I felt like the soul of Honest Abe was becoming a part of me. Slaves have been free for a long time, but in the pet store I felt the overwhelming urge to free the various guinea pigs and rabbits and such...
"Now that I have this BAD-ASS T-shirt, no one ever messes with me. They used to bully me on the playground and call me a 'dirty hippie' or a 'democrat,' but now everyone knows that I'm totally rugged and bad-ass and 'MERICA. When I wear this shirt to the grocery...
"This shirt came out of the box and I was immediately 200% more 'Murica! After 14 years in the Army I thought I was pretty patriotic, but I immediately got a freedom erection (Freerection) which- no lie- became an Army Ranger and hunted down a terrorist cell all on its...
The message on this t shirt got me so fired up one 4th of July. How fired up? After tossing back a 12'er, my buddies say that I went running down Main Street wearing this shirt and no pants. Apparently, I was waving a large American flag with lit sparklers...
"I just clicked over here to buy this shirt again for a third friend. It's secondary only to the great freedom our great nation spreads throughout the world in being my favorite gift to give to friends far and wide, especially those with UK citizenship whom I've taken under my...
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"We Have Not Forgotten, And We Never Will" The key word in this message is "Never". Little did the spineless 9/11 terrorists know, that in the end, their actions would bring together and build up, far more than they brought down.
  Like it says on your t-shirt.... "Texan AF".....and you wouldn't have it any other way
If Professor Ned Brainard knocked a vial of Lion-O's ThunderCat DNA into the Super-Soldier serum, we're pretty sure this is what would have become of Steve Rogers. No longer destined to become Captain America, he'd have morphed into a sort of super-feline, somewhere along the lines of Cat In America. This is...
I wasn't quite sure what this "It's Merican Not Merican't" shirt was trying to say, until I put it on. I've been wearing it for eleven straight days now. I visited The Washington Monument, The Liberty Bell, Mount Rushmore, The Lincoln Memorial, The White House, The Baseball Hall of Fame,...
With a beard and country as glorious as ours, it's easy to understand why others might hate us. Side-by-side our beard and Old Glory dance int he wind, making America and it's beard-having citizens the envy of other countries world-wide. They hate us, 'cause they ain't us -- and that's...
  The ultimate Marine Corps birthday ball shirt. No other explanation is really necessary.
The only colors you need to identify with are red, white, and blue. Stop whining about racial injustice. America is awesome. You're an American, now act like it!
Just... Stop, Hillary. That's all. This page isn't long enough to list the reasons why, so we won't even try.
When you hear "For English, Press 1; Para Espanol, Oprima Numero Dos".
Are you hot, happy and Texan as f*ck? Whether it be the cowboy boots, Longhorns football or The Alamo, you’ve got all the reason in the world to consider yourself cut from the finest American cloth—buy this shirt, and let the other 49 states know where you stand!
Grab the shirt and help generate the word....."Mattis 2016"...Here’s four simple reasons why he is the write in candidate of 2016. He understands and loves America, possesses moral clarity, is a perpetual student of history and people, and he wins. Can Billary or Bigmouth make even ONE of those claims?...
PATRIOTS: Protecting cowards, complainers, and cry babies for over 240 years.
We've already got two world-war championships -- don't make us pull a Pat Riley and three-peat. Merica.
Exercise. Eggs Are Sides. For Bacon. BACON. This is the vicious cycle that is my life. Every morning I wake up with exercise on my mind, but it always ends with me burning my mouth on straight-out-the-oil bacon over the sink. Tomorrow will be different.* *No it won't
Hey, baby.  When a simple 'How you doing?' isn't enough, you must beg the question...On a scale of one to America, how free or you tonight? Of course you're America. That's free AF - just how I like 'em.   
Let "United We Stand" be a warning to terrorists around the globe, that no matter where they decide to cause havoc, the US will be there to lend support, help rebuild, and do whatever is necessary to rid the earth of the scum who look to disrupt a peaceful way...
Say IDGAF about PC when patriotism matters more than political correctness.
Your Midwestern upbringing forces you to say "thank you," even when that barista is being a total d-bag. You probably were taught to say "bless your heart" instead of STFU. You are polite AF, because you are a MF lady.
Regardless of the question, it is the answer that refuses to be disputed. Why, you ask? Cuz 'Murica. That's why. Examples of some these questions include:Why is there bacon-eating contest at this funeral?Why do they sell fireworks at this liquor store?Why is (fill in the blank) famous?Why are they using...
Not saying that President Obama is the ass in Laughing My Ass Off... Oh. Wait. That's EXACTLY what this tee is saying.  
There are only two kinds of people in the world: General Mattis and People Other Than General Mattis (POG). Which one are you?
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ONLY COMMIES SEND SPAM... AND WE AREN'T COMMIES

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