It's ok if you're home and alone this holiday season. Sometimes it better to be alone than have someone say something like, "Your girlfriend, woof!"
You don't live by traditional rules. Your spaghetti is laced with candy and syrup. You aren't afraid of a little cheer. You're the real thing. Elf life. #elflife
During the holidays, my survival depends on my skill set. I drink and I know things. It's what I do.
I have one goal, and one goal only, for this holiday season. To get lit AF. Christmas trees have nothing on me.
Forget Merry Christmas. Forget Happy Holidays. Nevermind Feliz Navidad. Sh*tter was Full is the greeting of the season.
When you pull up to your in-laws' house this Christmas Vacation, forgo the niceties. Sh*tter was full is how you really greet the ones you love -- or loathe. Either way -- it's the way to go.
No mean girls for you -- you're on the nice list. Christmas, you're nailing it. You go Glen Coco.
Make sure you wear this to any raging party this holiday season. Then when you wake up -- just point to your shirt. Someone will lead you to the tylenol.
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