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Saint Mattis will always watch over you and grant you the strength to bring the pain. He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you're on BCP so don't eat that chow hall cake, rah.
I bought a pair for my 4th of July party, thinking it would be a fun gag shorts. Little did I know. I pulled it out of the box and immediately sank to my knees and wept tears of pure joy, and by "pure joy" I mean "pure Jack Daniel's". I strapped it on...