• GET READY FOR INDEPENDENCE DAY!

ONLY COMMIES SEND SPAM... AND WE AREN'T COMMIES

Because you're from a country of champions, and everyone should know it. Don't make us 3-peat!
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Celebrate founding father George Washington in the role he was always meant to play, cyborg eagle trainer. This tank top depicts the sci-fi movie we all wish would be coming soon to a theater near you, an action-packed patriotic thriller that tells the real story of how George Washington tackled...
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The only thing more glorious than President Donald Trump's hair is this tank top. Your personal guns will send the "You're Fired" message loud and clear in this number,
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Ain’t no party like a constitutional party, cause a constitutional party don’t stop. That’s right, you know our forefathers could throw down like a hoe-down on the 4th of July. Because back then, the only water around was that stuff that fish shit in, and you know, because ‘Merica!
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In our future post-apocalyptic world, you’ve got to have a good supply of shirts to help you blend in. This FDR tank will be perfect. It will melt into the surrounding devastation, AND it will help show off my f***ing awesome biceps, which will no doubt triple in size. It...
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I swear this shirt makes my bulge look bigger. Like its great powers of badassery increased my dick size by 6 inches. But that’s not all - not by a long shot. I can now shoot a squirrel from a half-mile away, and a butterfly from a quarter-mile. Those motherf***in...
I bought Shake. My brother bought Bake. As soon as we received our shirts, we opened the box and a bald eagle with a mullet flew out at top speed. We took this as a good omen. As we tried on our new Shake & Bake shirts, we felt the...
I bought Shake for myself, and Bake for my grandson. That little pecker never looked happier in his whole life. When he saw me wearing Shake, and went to change into & Bake, he had been wearing some stupid shirt with a lesbian named Justin Bieber on it. That move...
AMERICAN AF ON INSTAGRAM

ONLY COMMIES SEND SPAM... AND WE AREN'T COMMIES

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