GET READY FOR INDEPENDENCE DAY!

I bought Shake. My brother bought Bake. As soon as we received our shirts, we opened the box and a bald eagle with a mullet flew out at top speed. We took this as a good omen. As we tried on our new Shake & Bake shirts, we felt the...

I bought Shake for myself, and Bake for my grandson. That little pecker never looked happier in his whole life. When he saw me wearing Shake, and went to change into & Bake, he had been wearing some stupid shirt with a lesbian named Justin Bieber on it. That move...

Celebrate founding father George Washington in the role he was always meant to play, cyborg eagle trainer. This tank top depicts the sci-fi movie we all wish would be coming soon to a theater near you, an action-packed patriotic thriller that tells the real story of how George Washington tackled...

The only thing more glorious than President Donald Trump's hair is this tank top. Your personal guns will send the "You're Fired" message loud and clear in this number,

Ain’t no party like a constitutional party, cause a constitutional party don’t stop. That’s right, you know our forefathers could throw down like a hoe-down on the 4th of July. Because back then, the only water around was that stuff that fish shit in, and you know, because ‘Merica!

In our future post-apocalyptic world, you’ve got to have a good supply of shirts to help you blend in. This FDR tank will be perfect. It will melt into the surrounding devastation, AND it will help show off my f***ing awesome biceps, which will no doubt triple in size. It...

I swear this shirt makes my bulge look bigger. Like its great powers of badassery increased my dick size by 6 inches. But that’s not all - not by a long shot. I can now shoot a squirrel from a half-mile away, and a butterfly from a quarter-mile. Those motherf***in...