ONLY COMMIES SEND SPAM... AND WE AREN'T COMMIES

"Since buying this shirt: I have been invited to sing national anthems at baseball games. People have stopped treading on me. Women address me as Mr. Theodore Abraham Washington, the LXIX before throwing themselves at my feet (which generally hover above the ground). I can drink 16 oz of Budweiser...
A classic tee with vintage hues of red, white, and blue is just what you need for your all-American Insta picture. You know, the one where you make the driver pull over on the side of the road so you and your bestie can snap a photo in the tall...
This t-shirt says it all, doesn't it? Seriously though, this shirt should be standard issue to all Immigration Officials and Border Patrol Agents. Heck, I say we put one on Lady Liberty.
Except for all those hot foreign babes...let 'em in!!!!!  Warning: some people WILL hate you for wearing this.  But, you give 0 f*cks.
You know, I really wanted to give this t-shirt a funny, witty description. But I'm just straight outta F's to give. I couldn't give less F's except if I didn't even bother typing this. If you're like me, this shirt's for you.

AMERICAN AF ON INSTAGRAM

ONLY COMMIES SEND SPAM... AND WE AREN'T COMMIES

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