This item has General Mattis' on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the General Mattis' on my shirt that I, like General Mattis,, am a badass general who knows how to 'be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a badass-Marine-general-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my General Mattis' would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the General Mattis' on my shirt, I told her I wanted have only one ‘retirement plan’ for terrorists. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you General Mattis shirt.
  • Printed in USA.
  • See size chart 
  • High Definition Digital Sublimation Print
  • Lightweight Performance Material
  • Back side is Black
  • Unisex Tee Sizes Run Small

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This item has General Mattis' on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the General Mattis' on my shirt that I, like General Mattis,, am a badass general who knows how to 'be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a badass-Marine-general-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my General Mattis' would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the General Mattis' on my shirt, I told her I wanted have only one ‘retirement plan’ for terrorists. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you General Mattis shirt.
Customer Reviews
5.0 Based on 8 Reviews
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AB
04/11/2018
Andrew B.
Pretty awesome

It's cool and well made!

SP
07/06/2017
Steven P.
amazing

amazing

RB
06/11/2017
Rachel B.
This is an awesome shirt,

This is an awesome shirt, though it keeps me awake at night.

NK
06/10/2017
Nam K.
Mattis is 'Murica

Ain't gonna lie... This paper pushing got laid. Don't matter, got laid. Thanks General Mattis. *Star Spangled Banner plays in background of General Mattis slaying bodies. The tank top is nice, didn't expect to have the back of the top white, and the front with Mattis. I thought it was going to be all around black. The material feels nice, and I'm a hairy person. :thumbsup::thumbsup:. Would reenlist/10

HP
06/10/2017
Henry P.
Mattis

I love the new three mattis moon tank it's design is flawless but it has everybody who sees it wanting one

American AF - AAF Nation  Review
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