• EVERY DAY IS INDEPENDENCE DAY WHEN YOU’RE AMERICAN AF!

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This shirt is for the silent majority--those patriotic Americans that don't constantly brag about climbing mountains nor running marathons. Because waving the flag is the only cardio you need!
Because you're from a country of champions, and everyone should know it. Don't make us 3-peat!
"Since buying this shirt: I have been invited to sing national anthems at baseball games. People have stopped treading on me. Women address me as Mr. Theodore Abraham Washington, the LXIX before throwing themselves at my feet (which generally hover above the ground). I can drink 16 oz of Budweiser...
You and your significant other need to put on this t-shirt (that's right, order a pair of these badboys). Grab a couple of 12 packs, some fireworks, and Old Glory. Hit your favorite party spot and see what happens. That's called getting "Star Spangled Hammered". It doesn't have to be...
I bought Shake. My brother bought Bake. As soon as we received our shirts, we opened the box and a bald eagle with a mullet flew out at top speed. We took this as a good omen. As we tried on our new Shake & Bake shirts, we felt the...
I bought Shake for myself, and Bake for my grandson. That little pecker never looked happier in his whole life. When he saw me wearing Shake, and went to change into & Bake, he had been wearing some stupid shirt with a lesbian named Justin Bieber on it. That move...
"This shirt is the best thing to happen to me since the creation of democracy. Nothing screams freedom like your chest being gently cradled by this justice inducing shirt while every angry anti-US protester and nut job you see grimaces with jealousy."
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The tank top that features the Patriot of all Patriots. Wrestler "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan is more Patriot than Tom Brady could ever dream of being. Holding the American Flag, flashing the thumbs up, and smiling (I guess) for his throngs of fans.
Except for all those hot foreign babes...let 'em in!!!!!  Warning: some people WILL hate you for wearing this.  But, you give 0 f*cks.
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What can be said about the image on this shirt? It's nice knowing that the Son of God is on our side. I just hope someone informs Jesus that getting caught handling an animal on the endangered species list carries with it a huge fine and possible jail time, depending...
Were you aware that Corona Extra is the top-selling imported beer in the United States? First, why is the greatest country on earth importing beer? And second, who needs an “Hecho en México” ale when the world’s finest goods are manufactured right here in America? If you’re outraged, grab a...
"This shirt changed my life. As I unboxed my package and saw my shirt, I decided to put it on. The second I put this shirt on I felt courageous for the first time in my life... There was a slight tingling sensation that shot through my body like an...
"American As F Beer" Get the shirt that features the only beer brewed, bottled, trucked, sold, bought, and consumed fully in America. Now wonder they call it, "The King of American F'n Beers". Drink up you patriotic SOBs.
"Before I ordered this shirt, I benched 225. Now, I can lift the souls of millions of oppressed peoples across the globe, bringing the almighty American might of the Bald Eagle to every foreign man, woman, and child. Makes me want to sling an M-60 across my back and liberate...
Read my shirt....Operators are standing by, waiting to set you up with a one way ticket off of The Greatest Nation on Earth. I'm so sorry that your kid had endure the hardship of listening to the Pledge of Allegiance for 20 seconds this morning. Please accept my deepest apologies.....YA...
"The very first time I wore this shirt I felt like the soul of Honest Abe was becoming a part of me. Slaves have been free for a long time, but in the pet store I felt the overwhelming urge to free the various guinea pigs and rabbits and such...
The message on this t shirt got me so fired up one 4th of July. How fired up? After tossing back a 12'er, my buddies say that I went running down Main Street wearing this shirt and no pants. Apparently, I was waving a large American flag with lit sparklers...
I wasn't quite sure what this "It's Merican Not Merican't" shirt was trying to say, until I put it on. I've been wearing it for eleven straight days now. I visited The Washington Monument, The Liberty Bell, Mount Rushmore, The Lincoln Memorial, The White House, The Baseball Hall of Fame,...
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The official mascot of freedom wants you to proudly display those rock hard guns. Superimposed over old glory, this eagle is serious- serious about freedom and gun shows. The hardcore detailing makes it look like the eagle is real. He's real ready to strike at non-gun flaunting, freedom haters.
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Shockingly, most of the world’s inhabitants believe pizza originates from parts of Central and Southern Italy. To put this in perspective, however, those same people are also afraid of North Korea and Kim Jong-un’s haircut—see what we’re getting at, here? Breathe easy, faithful patriots—pizza is as American as baseball, apple...
If you have any questions regarding this shirt and its meaning, I suggest you read it one more time. Frankly, the message can't be stated with any more clarity. Wearing this shirt may result in people around you breaking into the "Pledge of Allegiance" all of a sudden. Those people...
Exercise. Eggs Are Sides. For Bacon. BACON. This is the vicious cycle that is my life. Every morning I wake up with exercise on my mind, but it always ends with me burning my mouth on straight-out-the-oil bacon over the sink. Tomorrow will be different.* *No it won't
Hey, baby.  When a simple 'How you doing?' isn't enough, you must beg the question...On a scale of one to America, how free or you tonight? Of course you're America. That's free AF - just how I like 'em.   
Regardless of the question, it is the answer that refuses to be disputed. Why, you ask? Cuz 'Murica. That's why. Examples of some these questions include:Why is there bacon-eating contest at this funeral?Why do they sell fireworks at this liquor store?Why is (fill in the blank) famous?Why are they using...
We've already got two world-war championships -- don't make us pull a Pat Riley and three-peat. Merica.
With free-flying bald eagles everywhere, enough military personnel to blow any world power to smithereens and more freedom than you can shake a stick at, what’s America got to apologize for? Nothing. That’s right—absolutely nothing. You’re American, and you’re better than everyone else. As such, never say sorry for being...
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