$ 19.95
"I got this superb garment in the mail today. I could tell right away that there was something different about it--perhaps the chorus of Angels singing as a lone ray of light from heaven shone brilliantly upon this shirt, while I was indoors. Yes, its powers are that potent.
Not wanting to wait a moment more, I ripped off my old shirt Hulk Hogan style with a barbaric YAWP that must've been heard many, many feet away. I pulled on my new favorite shirt and providence moved.
I was no longer the same person. I mean, I was me, but so much more! It was as if Lincoln himself melded powers with me. I was no longer just ridiculously awesome. I was ridiculously awesome AND an EMANCIPATOR. I was and am now an official Freedom Fighter!
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Premium 4.3 oz
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100% soft ringspun cotton
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Made in USA
"I got this superb garment in the mail today. I could tell right away that there was something different about it--perhaps the chorus of Angels singing as a lone ray of light from heaven shone brilliantly upon this shirt, while I was indoors. Yes, its powers are that potent.
Not wanting to wait a moment more, I ripped off my old shirt Hulk Hogan style with a barbaric YAWP that must've been heard many, many feet away. I pulled on my new favorite shirt and providence moved.
I was no longer the same person. I mean, I was me, but so much more! It was as if Lincoln himself melded powers with me. I was no longer just ridiculously awesome. I was ridiculously awesome AND an EMANCIPATOR. I was and am now an official Freedom Fighter!
-
Premium 4.3 oz
-
100% soft ringspun cotton
-
Made in USA
Since buying this shirt: I have been invited to sing national anthems at baseball games. People have stopped treading on me. Women address me as Mr. Theodore Abraham Washington, the LXIX before throwing themselves at my feet (which generally hover above the ground). I can drink 16 oz of Budweiser...
No matter your feelings about the 2016 election, we all could use a little more love in our life. Bring back that loving feeling and start campaigning for Maverick and Goose in 2020.
Grab your wingman and keep up with foreign relations the American way: putting warheads on foreheads.
AS FEATURED IN
Excl. postage