I bought a pair for my 4th of July party, thinking it would be a fun gag shorts. Little did I know. I pulled it out of the box and immediately sank to my knees and wept tears of pure joy, and by "pure joy" I mean "pure Jack Daniel's". I strapped it on and my max bench press increased by a 100lbs. I wiped the whiskey from my face, looked in the mirror, and in my reflection I saw him behind me.


George Washington. Looking stern and powerful. He nodded once, an affirmation. I knew what I had to do.

I flung myself from the bathroom window and this shorts literally turned me into a bald eagle, I flew over Iraq and pooped tomahawk missiles on ISIS positions, then I flew back home and turned into a 1967 Pontiac GTO and drove all night until I arrived at Pussytown."

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I bought a pair for my 4th of July party, thinking it would be a fun gag shorts. Little did I know. I pulled it out of the box and immediately sank to my knees and wept tears of pure joy, and by "pure joy" I mean "pure Jack Daniel's". I strapped it on and my max bench press increased by a 100lbs. I wiped the whiskey from my face, looked in the mirror, and in my reflection I saw him behind me.


George Washington. Looking stern and powerful. He nodded once, an affirmation. I knew what I had to do.

I flung myself from the bathroom window and this shorts literally turned me into a bald eagle, I flew over Iraq and pooped tomahawk missiles on ISIS positions, then I flew back home and turned into a 1967 Pontiac GTO and drove all night until I arrived at Pussytown."

  • Liner brief
Customer Reviews
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ZT
06/04/2022
Zach T.
United States United States

Teddy Roosevelt wrote these. FACT.

Amazing. Simply. Amazing. The inner lining allows you to go commando, as intended by the founding fathers. The stars and stripes pattern lets everyone know that the only thing you love more than establishing your dominance at parties by shotgunning a PBR, is the sweet sweet smell of freedom.

ZT
06/04/2022
Zach T.
United States United States

Teddy Roosevelt wrote these. FACT.

Amazing. Simply. Amazing. The inner lining allows you to go commando, as intended by the founding fathers. The stars and stripes pattern lets everyone know that the only thing you love more than establishing your dominance at parties by shotgunning a PBR, is the sweet sweet smell of freedom.

KS
09/22/2021
Kendal S.
United States United States

The softest ball cradle any country has to offer!

My balls are loyal to the red white and blue! These shorts are conversation starters for sure! The most important part is the patriotic comfort they offer you. 'Merica

American AF - AAF Nation Silkies 2.0 - Star Spangled Silkies Review
CM
09/15/2021
Cj M.
United States United States

Star spangled silkies

Patriotism never looked so sexy

SA
08/17/2021
Shane A.
United States United States

Rated Triple A!

Awesome American A$$ cover! I got these for my wife and she loves them! They are a better quality than some of the other "cool guy" silkies out there and they really have my little soldier standing at attention!

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