"Before I ordered this shirt, I benched 225. Now, I can lift the souls of millions of oppressed peoples across the globe, bringing the almighty American might of the Bald Eagle to every foreign man, woman, and child. Makes me want to sling an M-60 across my back and liberate...
Cardio? I don't understand that language. This is America - we speak American!
"I purchased this shirt because I love America, bald eagles, and mullets. However, unbeknownst to me, when I put it on I mentally transform into a robosoldier capable of bringing security and justice to those in need. I feel the need to help the elderly and read to small children....
We proudly stand for the National Anthem. Why? For those who gave some and for those who gave all. Do you know what you stand for?
Your Midwestern upbringing forces you to say "thank you," even when that barista is being a total d-bag. You probably were taught to say "bless your heart" instead of STFU. You are polite AF, because you are a MF lady.
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