ONLY COMMIES SEND SPAM... AND WE AREN'T COMMIES

No matter how magical the candy cane -- it's not going to lick itself. Be a team player and help me out.
I don't normally do this, I swear. I never do this -- I just got caught up in the cheer. But I put out for Santa.
How do you like your Christmas stockings? Full? Big? I like mine Well Hung -- right over the fireplace.
The ultimate one-liner from the ultimate Christmas movie. Yippee Ki Yay MF!!
Sometimes candy canes and carols aren't enough. I prefer to fill myself with the real holiday spirit -- it's called whiskey. I'm constantly warm with cheer.
I always knew there was a little something saucy about that elf. He's thinking about you and he's touching the shelf. Shiver.
Is Santa real? Ask your mom. She knows Santa, if you know what I mean.

AMERICAN AF ON INSTAGRAM

ONLY COMMIES SEND SPAM... AND WE AREN'T COMMIES

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