583
Since buying this shirt: I have been invited to sing national anthems at baseball games. People have stopped treading on me. Women address me as Mr. Theodore Abraham Washington, the LXIX before throwing themselves at my feet (which generally hover above the ground). I can drink 16 oz of Budweiser...
170
No matter your feelings about the 2016 election, we all could use a little more love in our life. Bring back that loving feeling and start campaigning for Maverick and Goose in 2020.
70
Grab your wingman and keep up with foreign relations the American way: putting warheads on foreheads.