• EVERY DAY IS INDEPENDENCE DAY WHEN YOU’RE AMERICAN AF!

ONLY COMMIES SEND SPAM... AND WE AREN'T COMMIES

'Merican History

-14%
Celebrate founding father George Washington in the role he was always meant to play, cyborg eagle trainer. This tank top depicts the sci-fi movie we all wish would be coming soon to a theater near you, an action-packed patriotic thriller that tells the real story of how George Washington tackled...
-14%
The only thing more glorious than Republican Presidential nominee Donald Trump's hair is this tank top. Your personal guns will send the "You're Fired" message loud and clear in this sleeveless number. One look at all the proud Americans in our fan photos will prove this is the most Patriotic...
-14%
Let's get nostalgic for a moment and remember a time in history when the world was great. America's economy was strong and the US Commander in Chief was man's man Bill Clinton. Get Big Willy style in this printed tank top depicting all the things we loved about 1990s. Owners...
-14%
The world looks a bit different after Sharknado. Aviation emergency procedures reflect the new hazards in the sky, inspired by George W's narrow escape after Air Force One sucked up a shark in one of the engines. If your life vest doesn't automatically inflate, press the "Don't you know I'm...
-14%
There are great American presidents, and then there are great American presidents who lassoed themselves velociraptors. In between ending the Cold War and saving tax payers money when the air traffic controllers went on strike, Reagan trained his pet velociraptor, who he named Red, to hold the American flag while...
-14%
Ain’t no party like a constitutional party, cause a constitutional party don’t stop. That’s right, you know our forefathers could throw down like a hoe-down on the 4th of July. Because back then, the only water around was that stuff that fish shit in, and you know, because ‘Merica!
-14%
In our future post-apocalyptic world, you’ve got to have a good supply of shirts to help you blend in. This FDR tank will be perfect. It will melt into the surrounding devastation, AND it will help show off my f***ing awesome biceps, which will no doubt triple in size. It...
-14%
When Lincoln had had enough of the South's silliness, he rode on top of his blood-thirsty brown bear with an assault rifle in hand to deliver the Gettysburg Address. The outcome? They put up a good fight, but succumbed in the end. When you've had enough of the BS raining...
-14%
By the power of Ronald Reagan, I deem this shirt American as F***. I haven’t taken this badass ‘Merica tank off since the day I got it. Right out of the package, I felt a surge of Velociraptor fierceness, grabbed my machine gun, and took Raegan out for some shoots...
-14%
What's the most American way to chase down bad guys trying to take our freedom? In an American-colored classic mustang. This ultimately American shirt displays one of our greats, Reagan, getting business done in the most American way possible. While driving down the competition, he shoots through the windowshield, undoubtedly...
-14%
Regan doubled as an undercover president to get the message across, "Don't mess with America!" Driving around in his classic American-made Mustang, the president planted bombs to get masses of bad guys. He shot through the front windshield, because it takes too long to stick your gun out the window,...
-14%
Check out this tank top featuring a gung ho, bitch ass, bastard, bad boy, bat outta hell Teddy Roosevelt. From what I hear, this is not an artist’s interpretation, but an actual painting, created from three eyewitness accounts who were there. This is a close-up shot of a much bigger...
-14%
Well this American as F*** tank was a hell of a conversation-starter. We philosophized all kinds of wondrous freedom-injected solutions to the world’s problems. And in the end, an Abraham Lincoln majestically riding his trusty grizzly bear atop an American flag with a machine gun was the ultimate solution. Because...
-14%
This shirt has the most believable fictitious image you will ever see. "Teddy Roosevelt VS Bigfoot"...I can see it. C'mon, the man would take on former pro boxers while he was in the White House. One encounter left him nearly blind in one eye! He scaled The Matterhorn, a 15,000...
-14%
In a space mission gone awry, our hero, Thomas Jefferson, finds himself confined by speaking gorillas. He escapes his cell only to be chased down by two of the prison guards, both angry to not have been born as Americans. Cornered by the beasts, Jefferson pulls out his secret weapon,...
-14%
You’re stuck in a frozen apocalyptic wasteland, surrounded by 20-ft gorillas, and an American flag at your back. What do you do? The answer is simple: What Would Chesty Do? WWCD, because ‘Merica!
-14%
When you’re in the middle of a frozen wasteland, staring death in the face, give it a little smirk. Just like Chesty. Because there’s no evil in the world that can’t be exterminated with a little American grit and a lot of firepower.
-14%
The biggest conspiracy from the 1960s isn't if we put a man on the moon, it's JFK's set-up assassination. He knew NASA was on its way to the moon, and he wanted to be there. Although JFK was a great president in his short tenure, he had a higher calling:...
-14%
They say Ben Franklin didn't rest while he tried to prove lightning and electricity were related. What he was actually doing was battling Zeus in the name of America. Zeus was upset at our newfound freedom; if people couldn't control other people then it was only a matter of time...
-14%
Need a new work-out shirt? We've got just the inspiration for you. It's sleeveless, because let's be honest, your guns can't be contained while getting swole. You've got a classic man versus beast image, perfectly encapsulating your man versus metal mentality while lifting poundage. Nixon battling a saber-tooth tiger in...
-14%
I don't know why you're surprised to see George Washington as the Master Chief. He's the original in everything and has always done it better. He'd be the guy doing sneak attacks on the enemy, just like back in the day on the Delaware River on Christmas. He wrote the...
-14%
A lightcycle, the preferred mode of transportation for the Patriot on a mission. The British would have turned back at the mere sight of Paul Revere screaming up and down the New England Coast. Although, he's fully decked out in the skin tight riding leathers, with matching boots and gloves,...
-14%
Before America could be 100% free, George Washington had to separate the states from Great Britain and rid the countryside of zombies. It's a tale that so few have heard, but I can now proudly launch into the story every time someone asks me about this shirt. I love to...
-14%
‘Merica! F*** yeah! Chesty Puller is here to save the day. He’s loaded up and ready to kill with the spirit of the Stars and Stripes behind him. Because it doesn’t matter if you’re in enemy territory and surrounded 29-to-1… that only simplifies the problem.
-14%
When you’re a sci-fi freak, a revolutionary, and a loyal follower of the great Andrew Jackson, it’s hard to find clothes that fit your personality. Well AAF, you have done it! With this great American-as-f*** tank I’ll finally be able to express my personal beliefs right across my bulging chest....
-14%
It's a myth that Ben Franklin flew a kite during a lighting storm, that's the pansy version of what really happened. Franklin used the kite as a jet pack while protecting America from all the haters. He built himself wolverine-style spikes in his hands (he was inventor after all) that...
-14%
I swear this shirt makes my bulge look bigger. Like its great powers of badassery increased my dick size by 6 inches. But that’s not all - not by a long shot. I can now shoot a squirrel from a half-mile away, and a butterfly from a quarter-mile. Those motherf***in...
-14%
Time to let those shysty little alien f***ers know what’s up! I’ve had it up to here with those little bastards! They shine their beaming lights into my window every night, like some kind of damn intergalactic peeping toms. Well, I’ve got a show planned for them tonight! I just...
-14%
What a sweet looking tank top. A lightcycle, the preferred mode of transportation for the Patriot on a mission. The British would have turned back at the mere sight of Paul Revere screaming up and down the New England Coast. He may want to consider trading in that lantern for...
Own a true masterpiece of American History. Behold:   Chesty Puller kicking the absolute shit out of Yeti monsters on Chosin Reservoir during the Korean War! 18x24" 100lb, HIGH QUALITY PRINT
It's time to embrace a brave new world.  A world where you can Rock Out With Your Cock Out. One Size Fits Most with Adjustable Buckle/Bottle Opener. 60 inches long with adjustable buckle. Accommodates waist sizes 32” to 44” with at least a 12" cöck flop. You walk into the bar,...
AMERICAN AF ON INSTAGRAM

ONLY COMMIES SEND SPAM... AND WE AREN'T COMMIES

Search

Just added to your cart:
Qty:
Total:
Subtotal:
Excl. postage 
My Cart
Just added to your wishlist:
Excl. postage 
My Wishlist