ONLY COMMIES SEND SPAM... AND WE AREN'T COMMIES

124 reviews
Don't be a... Chicken sucker..? Nah... A rooster lollipop..? No... Hmm, I'm stumped.
330 reviews
"This shirt was everything it said it was. It's pure America. Not only is the quality well and it fit good. It also gives a feeling of true American Bad Assery when you wear it. It can be described as flying on an American Bald Eagle as it shoots fucking...
147 reviews
"There is no greater feeling than increasing your patriot points. With these board shorts I now know what the American Flag Feels like flying high in the sky, soaring like bald eagle, mocking its enemies down below all the while drinking a beer that tastes like fireworks and freedom. I...
65 reviews
This shirt will make you a got-damned sexual tyrannosaurus...
280 reviews
Because you're from a country of champions, and everyone should know it. Don't make us 3-peat!
171 reviews
Much like diabetes, communism is a disease of the heart. Keep your heart pure by saying the Pledge of Allegiance each and every day. Keep the commies away by saying it as loud and as obnoxiously as possible, preferably while holding a Budweiser with an American flag draped over your...
40 reviews
Attention, any Country who successfully lands people on the Moon. First off, we'd like to welcome you. You're about 50 years too late, but that's beside the point. Take a look around, snap some photos, then get back into your craft and move along. I hear the weather in Mars...
6 reviews
Running? That sounds like something a Commie would do!
83 reviews
"Since buying this shirt: I have been invited to sing national anthems at baseball games. People have stopped treading on me. Women address me as Mr. Theodore Abraham Washington, the LXIX before throwing themselves at my feet (which generally hover above the ground). I can drink 16 oz of Budweiser...
AMERICAN AF ON INSTAGRAM

ONLY COMMIES SEND SPAM... AND WE AREN'T COMMIES

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