ONLY COMMIES SEND SPAM... AND WE AREN'T COMMIES

"I used to be a lactose intolerant vegan on a gluten free diet, just like many of you. I spent my days at my parents house, writing on my blog about how Hillary would be the best choice for president. Then I stumbled across this tank top and my life...
"While I purchased this shirt with an understanding that I am misrepresenting the historical events of the Cold War and the tools used by President Ronald Reagan to confront the Soviet Union, I was not entirely prepared for the full extent of glory and status that was to be bestowed...
Slip on this Statue of Liberty tank top and you'll be attracting all the tired, poor, and huddled masses you can handle -- all summer long! No need to fight the tourist crowds when you can hang with Lady Liberty on your very own chest.
This shirt has the most believable fictitious image you will ever see. "Teddy Roosevelt VS Bigfoot"...I can see it. C'mon, the man would take on former pro boxers while he was in the White House. One encounter left him nearly blind in one eye! He scaled The Matterhorn, a 15,000...
Check out this tank top featuring a gung ho, bitch ass, bastard, bad boy, bat outta hell Teddy Roosevelt. From what I hear, this is not an artist’s interpretation, but an actual painting, created from three eyewitness accounts who were there. This is a close-up shot of a much bigger...
Strong she is, Lady Liberty. Combine your love for the two best things in the Universe -- Star Wars and America -- with this patriotic space tank top. You'll be able to easily maneuver your light saber as a "Defender of Peace" in this sleeveless number.
"Just when I thought Dubya couldn't get any more American, now I get to see him skydiving while riding a shark every time I look in the mirror. Every. Time. Yes, that means I wear it more than I should in order for it to remain clean and yes, it...
In a space mission gone awry, our hero, Thomas Jefferson, finds himself confined by speaking gorillas. He escapes his cell only to be chased down by two of the prison guards, both angry to not have been born as Americans. Cornered by the beasts, Jefferson pulls out his secret weapon,...
"A tank top that lets people know you hate terrorists and love freedom across the universe. First one I got was slightly messed up, but excellent customer service had a new one flown out my way in the talons of a eagle that screeched the national anthem, which only adds...
"This shirt is the reason the constitution was written. Now that I have it, the flag waves more gallantly, the stars in the evening sky are brighter, and eagles fly faster than before. Once I laid eyes on this shirt, it was obvious that mother freedom would backhand the tar...
When you’re in the middle of a frozen wasteland, staring death in the face, give it a little smirk. Just like Chesty. Because there’s no evil in the world that can’t be exterminated with a little American grit and a lot of firepower.
‘Merica! F*** yeah! Chesty Puller is here to save the day. He’s loaded up and ready to kill with the spirit of the Stars and Stripes behind him. Because it doesn’t matter if you’re in enemy territory and surrounded 29-to-1… that only simplifies the problem.

AMERICAN AF ON INSTAGRAM

ONLY COMMIES SEND SPAM... AND WE AREN'T COMMIES

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