ONLY COMMIES SEND SPAM... AND WE AREN'T COMMIES

"This shirt was everything it said it was. It's pure America. Not only is the quality well and it fit good. It also gives a feeling of true American Bad Assery when you wear it. It can be described as flying on an American Bald Eagle as it shoots fucking...
1 review
Because you're from a country of champions, and everyone should know it. Don't make us 3-peat!
2 reviews
Since buying this shirt: I have been invited to sing national anthems at baseball games. People have stopped treading on me. Women address me as Mr. Theodore Abraham Washington, the LXIX before throwing themselves at my feet (which generally hover above the ground). I can drink 16 oz of Budweiser...
1 review
Much like diabetes, communism is a disease of the heart. Keep your heart pure by saying the Pledge of Allegiance each and every day. Keep the commies away by saying it as loud and as obnoxiously as possible, preferably while holding a Budweiser with an American flag draped over your...
The colonies are quite rowdy this evening... On July 4th, 1776 we proclaimed our own Brexit. We didn't say it... We declared it.
Teddy Roosevelt? More like, Teddy Swolesevelt! Before Tom Selleck came on the scene, this buff teddy bear was rocking the most celebrated 'stache in the land and flexing on business trusts. Getting nasty on a regimen of gymnastics and weight-lifting, this Rough Rider's physique was rugged AF. Here's to the...
4th of July: The only day it's socially acceptable to get drunk and blow things up. Is there anything more American than that?
There are 2 types of countries in the world: those who use the metric system and those who have landed on the moon!

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ONLY COMMIES SEND SPAM... AND WE AREN'T COMMIES

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