ONLY COMMIES SEND SPAM... AND WE AREN'T COMMIES

Winter is coming -- and so is Christmas. How do I cope? I drink and I know things. That's all I can do -- except maybe drink in my Santa hat and binge watch your favorite show.
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Forget Merry Christmas. Forget Happy Holidays. Nevermind Feliz Navidad. Sh*tter was Full is the greeting of the season.
If you want to avoid being on the naughty list, listen to Uncle Mike. Be good for Thanta Clauth and he'll be good to you.
A phrase that continues to echo through the ages. Where DO you think you're going to put that tree Griswold? Well, bend over and I'll show ya. #merrychristmas
There are some stories that need no words. The tongue-on-pole scene from a Christmas Story is one of those stories.
The chain of events after waking up the morning after a holiday rager. 1) Think to self "Hallelujah, I'm alive!" 2) Ask aloud to no one in particular "Where's the Tylenol?"
For when you're feeling jolly -- but also give zero Fs. Clark Griswold nails Christmas Spirit with one simple gesture.
Don't ever let anyone tell you that Die Hard isn't a Christmas movie. It's the ultimate Christmas movie. Yippee ki yay!
Hey girl. Feeling down about being single during the holidays? Don't worry. Ryan is here to wrap you in long sleeves made of boyfriend material.
Not big on Christmas? Feel meh about Hanukkah? Festivus is the holiday for the rest of us.
Ralphie, a Christmas legend and original supporter of the 2nd amendment. No matter what anyone told him -- "you'll shoot your eye out" they said! -- he persisted. The rest is a famous Story.
For those of us that enjoy the darker side of the holidays, Jack is here to say "Merry Christmas!" Perfect for Nightmare Before Christmas fans.

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ONLY COMMIES SEND SPAM... AND WE AREN'T COMMIES

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